


I Don’t Love You

by slayingdragons



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Inspired by Music, M/M, Monsta X Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 18:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12195597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slayingdragons/pseuds/slayingdragons
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING: Abusive RelationshipWhen you go, would you have the guts to say "I don't love you like I loved you yesterday."





	I Don’t Love You

_\---_

_Well, when you go_  
_Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay_  
_And maybe when you get back_  
_I'll be off to find another way_

_\---_

Love.

Love is a surprise. It hits your like a storm and you can't even choose the subject of your affection. Love is a curious thing. It drags you down into a realm of emotion you never knew you could feel. Love is a sickness. It tampers with your logic and makes you dumber than you really are.

Wonho understands this perfectly. He understands how his own feelings surprised him when he realized he had fallen for his best friend, Hyunwoo. He understands how being in love with Hyunwoo lets him discover new sides of himself he never knew existed. And most importantly, he understands how he feels an emotion so strong, he’s willing to sacrifice his all to make Hyunwoo happy. His relationship with Hyunwoo initially came as a surprise to their friends and families. No one had expected them to be together—neither did he, if he has to be honest—but they all congratulated the two and wished them the best of luck anyway.

Hyunwoo isn’t the most expressive person, but he makes up for it with how understanding and sweet he is. He brings small gifts for no reason and now Wonho’s working desk at the office is full of these little surprise gifts Hyunwoo got him. Wonho told him once that he didn’t have to do it all the time, but Hyunwoo said that he wants to let his dearest know that he was always on his mind.

Little surprises, Wonho might get used to, but when Hyunwoo returned home one day bringing a huge bouquet of red roses and a ring, Wonho cried. It was the best day of his life. Hyunwoo laughed a little, telling him not to cry, and slipped the beautiful ring on his finger. Wonho did the same for Hyunwoo while still sobbing, and Hyunwoo then whispered his marriage vow on Wonho’s ear.

Their years of marriage was full of happiness, the happiest Wonho has ever been his entire life. But sometimes, in the midst of his happiness, Wonho couldn’t help to wonder if someday, his happiness would come to an end. As he wondered through his days, the day he dreaded the most came knocking on his door.

_\---_

_Well, after all this time that you still owe_  
_You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know_  
_So take your gloves and get out_  
_Better get out while you can_

_\---_

That day, Hyunwoo came home very early in the evening. It was highly unusual since he was managing his own business. His business ran quite well and he usually had tons of work to do so he’d stay in his office until late at night. Wonho knew something was off, so he told Hyunwoo to take a hot bath first to calm himself down. It turned out that a sleazy customer lady, whom Hyunwoo repeatedly turned down when coming on to him, finally decided that she had heard enough rejections. She accused Hyunwoo of sexual harrasment and earlier that day, police had come to his office to question him. Wonho knew his beloved Hyunwoo wouldn’t do something as low as sexual harrasment, so he told Hyunwoo they’d get through it.

Fighting this lady, however, proved to be very difficult as she did everything she could to attack everything Hyunwoo had—his business, his morality, and even his sexuality. Hyunwoo’s business wasn’t badly affected, since he managed to keep everything under the radar so far, but it costs him his mental stability. Fighting her was draining him so badly that one day, he finally snapped. He shouted at Wonho for simply mistaking the amount of sugar he put in his coffee. Wonho got scared, Hyunwoo had never talked to him so loudly with such tone. Hyunwoo then immediately realized what he did and apologized, telling him he wasn’t in his right mind.

The more the charge against him progressed, them more stressed Hyunwoo became. His anger gradually became more frequent, and yet every single time, he apologized to Wonho. And as time went by, his apologies became frequently accompanied by “you shouldn’t have done that either”s. Wonho knew he wasn’t able to do anything to help Hyunwoo with the charges he was facing, so the least he could do was to lessen Hyunwoo’s burden, and yet, he couldn’t even do simple things for him. He felt so pathetic and useless.

_\---_

_Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading_  
_So sick and tired of all the needless beating_  
_But baby when they knock you down and out_  
_Is where you ought to stay_

_\---_

The first time Wonho actually cried when Hyunwoo snapped was when Wonho moved his pile of documents without telling him. Hyunwoo was so furious he slapped Wonho on the face. It wasn’t the stinging pain he felt on his cheeks that made him cry, but the shock that came from the fact that Hyunwoo, the love of his life, would ever hit him. From then on, the hitting escalated. Sometimes Hyunwoo would slap him, other times he would throw things at him, and when it got bad, sometimes he got kicked when he fell on the floor. When the pressure hit hard, Hyunwoo would tell him that he was useless and Wonho would always apologize, pleading for him to stop.

You might tell Wonho to leave Hyunwoo, but to him, Hyunwoo was his whole world. He loved him too much to leave his side, and he knew this wasn’t the real Hyunwoo that he loved. No matter how many times Hyunwoo told him that he should leave and that he wouldn’t stop him since he had no use of a good-for nothing, no matter how many times Hyunwoo taunted him by saying he wouldn’t dare to leave and say he didn’t love Hyunwoo anymore, no matter how many times Hyunwoo hurt him and almost killed him, Wonho would still love him.

Eventually, the storm passed. The charges against Hyunwoo were dropped. But it didn’t mean that Hyunwoo would return to be the old Hyunwoo that Wonho loved right away. It took him multiple life-threatening injuries, but Wonho managed to convince Hyunwoo to get help. And only after he got some help did Hyunwoo realize the horrible things he had done all these times. It broke him. It broke them both. He couldn’t live with what he had done, so Hyunwoo asked Wonho to leave him, to tell him that he no longer loved him. Wonho begged Hyunwoo not to do this, he didn’t want to leave his side. But Hyunwoo’s decision was firm and there was nothing Wonho could do to change it.

Hyunwoo helped Wonho pack his belongings in silence, and saw him to the front door before he left.

“Hyunwoo.” Wonho called softly, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I don’t love you anymore.” he said before walking out of the house.

_\---_

_When you go_  
_Would you even turn to say_  
_"I don't love you like I did yesterday."_

_\---_

**Author's Note:**

> This has got to be one of the saddest fics I've ever written in my entire life as a fangirl, no matter what fandom I was ever in. When I saw the theme "music," the first song that came into my mind was My Chemical Romance's I Don't Love You, one of my most favorite songs by the band, and the most popular interpretation about the song is about an abusive relationship. So here I am, writing the saddest fic I can possibly write in such limited amount of time. Please don't hate me after this.


End file.
